Problem with my mother in law
Dear Concern,
My name is Sandhya, got married in Feb-2015 and it was an arranged married. My husband is a software engineer and I am a HR professional. My in laws stay at their native. I & my husband stay in Hyderabad. After 3 months of my marriage, problems have arisen due to obstinate behaviour of my mother in law. She tried to keep me in her control in all aspects including habits like dressing, food, shopping and etc. she always asks me to keep my dowry and gold with her. I am not doing that. In my in-laws family, all are deaf & dumb in front of my mother in law. No one oppose her even they know that she is doing wrong. Same way, she expected me to listen to her in all the things. She asked me to give my salary to her. Even If I require pocket money, I should ask her. First few months of my marriage, I used to give my salary to her. She also takes my husband’s salary but fortunately she remains more or less for our monthly provisional. I & my husband suffered a lot for financial problems. I use to argue with my husbands for money. Every time he tells me to be with patience and until his mother alive, he never competes with her. Hence I should have to be adjust in all the situations. I listen to him and being the same.
After few months, I stopped giving my salary and keeping in my bank account for my future safety. Then problems started again. My mother in law is taking almost all of his salary then my husband use to ask me some money for our provisional of every month. I used to give him. Meanwhile I became conceive. My mother in law instructed me to resign the job and to stay with her completely and said that my husband will come to see me by every weekend. If I am not listening to her, then she said to me that my husband will leave me completely. I said no to leave my job. Then she started making my husband to oppose me. But personally, he likes me to do job. For his mother sake, he also instructed me the same. Then I said that if you people are behaving same like this, I will lodge a complaint. Then everyone became calm and no more instructions given me after I said that to them.
My husband is very good at me and very caring person. But he blindly follows his mother instructions. It is like a mental torture for me. Finally in my 9th month of pregnancy, I went to my parents’ home. Until I was with him, he is a loving husband. When I moved to my parent’s home, he stopped talking to me even not responding to my messages also. I should strongly say that only my mother in law did something to him. He was used to tell me that his mother always black mail him with emotional things. Lateral I am blessed with a baby boy. Even though my husband has not come to see us. But my in-laws visited us a couple of times. Now it is around 5+ months over for my baby.
I am in a dilemma to make a decision. I would like to approach some NGO’s/Women protection help centers. Kindly advise me.