Boy family broke engagement refusing to give money

Hello! recently in our family we had engagement, they demanded many things before engagement like expensive ring, cloths home accessories and also 1lakh dowry. in starting they were too nice with us they were asking for marry our girl from years ( he is in army )and we were agree to give all and recently had engagement. but after engagement they started changing colors their tone become harsh and one day mother of boy told us to give them 3 lakhs for buying something and we said we dont have that much from then she totally changed her behavior and one day she ( mother of boy ) abusing one of our family member for no reason (we do have recordings of asking 3 lakhs and abusing) after she abused we our family memeber ( female ) also said alot of things and had fight over phone. the boy said said they broking and we also dont want to give our girl to such abusing and family and we asked for the all money we have to spend for engagement and ring and accessories, they said they will not give full money only few thousand will give and ring we had spent so much money on it! after some investigation i found something shocking that its not first time they did this! they already had made a engagement and took dowry and then broke for a silly reason that is the girl dont fit his personality ( why did they had engagement in first place then ) it few years before!! that family was poor and uneducated so they didnt took any action against them! we told them that we will take legal action and they also take action since boy is in army what we can do in this case ? can we get our money back and punish them since they asked for dowry in jail or he is in army so we cannot do much ? sorry for bad english pls help me about this in details