Abuse, or neglect?

So basically ever since I was a kid, fights used to happen in the house. My parents wouldn't let me or my older sister go to anyone for help. My mom would fight with my dad, then my sister intervened. Whenever fights used to happened during the fights i would have panic attacks and run in the room, trying to breathe. I wanted to run, run far away. We were barely children and trying to figure out life. They all used to vent out their frustration on me, hitting me, calling me slurs, because I didn't be their therapist all the time. Ever since then those fights triggered me, and i haven't been able to move on. My family members have a habit of instigating me, nagging me, telling little me I was "too dumb" "too different" "too stupid". In school I was teased for my curly hair, then one day in 2018/2019, i remember being in the school football team and i never got a chance to play. The coach, from my school, he walked in on us changing by mistake, and then left. Then he told my mom that I was apparently too fat. ITS CALLED PUBERTY!! my grandmothers, both, HAD DIED. i saw my own grandmother die in front of me. I remember crying soo badly, then later my parents told me to just shake it off. No one, believed in me. No one. Everyone just left. I am going to a psychologist now, and i want to tell her that until the behavior in the house doesn't change, I CANNOT CHANGE.