my mother in law has two twine sons, they both only listen to their mother's and try to avoid listening father, elder brother has done love marriage with a bengali girl, they both used to stay at hyderabad post marriage after 1.5 years of marriage my sister in law left her job in hyderabad and brother in law got transfer in delhi they both shifted to delhi. Later my mother inlaws interferance with my brother in law and sister inlaws life related to personal and sexual interference she decided to rejoin and gone hyderabad and shifted there now staying alone from past 1 year however, my brother in law is staying with with us, me, my husband, mother in law and father in law, now my mother in laws interference is again spoiling my relation with my husband, she stops us to create any sexual relation, if i say anything to my husband he goes and directly throws in my mother inlaws mind that she is saying this that bla bla bla, i have tried to speak to my husband politely but everything is going to her now i need help because being a girls we cannot stay with our mother inlaw and my husband is saying i cannot leave my parents and saying if u want to go away from my parents get your divorce papers ready
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1. This is very commonplace dispute between married couples.
2. You do have problem in the house but not grave enough to dissolve the marriage.
3. Do bear patience, everything will change with passing of time.
4. Try not to make you MIL feel insecure and do not tell anything bad about your MIL to your husband even if it happens to you.
5. You try to earn trust of your husband. You will certainly tide over the trying times.
what do you want from your relation
1) you should suggest to your husband to visit a marriage counsellor . he will help in resolving all disputes in your marriage .
2) if situation is beyond repair file for divorce by mutual consent
3) in the alternative you can stay in rented place with your husband and yet your husband can be near his parents
Almost in 90% of Indian homes such a situation prevails. Have patience to sustain the married life amidst various ups and downs. Patience pays at the end. Better to take the help of a marriage counsellor to counsel your husband and to resolve problems in your marital life. For you the problem may appear very big, but in reality, it is a common situation in almost all indian families and you can tide over the problem and secure your marital life and the present situation does not/should not warrant you to think about divorce.
I appreciate your prompt revert and suggestion, however, further would like to inform you that the day I got married my husband was involved with different girls thru internet I read cheap messages in his cellphone and that time my inlaws used to say me u can go and sleep since both brothers sleeps late night then i though to dig out the situation and came to know these chats though i have saved everything with me, i asked my husband also about all this but he said it was just a internet fun that i was involved with and i don't know weather he is still involve or not, further to this i wrote an email to my FIL about the same and he gave me a reply that its good that you have bring this thing into my notice however, you have all the rights to ask anything about him and i am always with u, my husband is in merchant navy and he stays out of town for 5-6 months when he calls me my MIL makes faces and giving me punches in talks, she is happy that when me and my SIL is not at home as he things that when we comes back our house will get distroyed the happiness of our family as i heard from my MIL's mouth while talking to my FIL, on top of it she puts so much of spices in the food and i cannot eat the same as i have told her one thousand times not to put spices but she puts as she loves eating spicy food, now she is saying u can make for yourself but there is no vegetable at home when i told my husband to bring some vegetables for me she stops him, my MIL showed knife to my FIL saying i am not going to make anything for u i will only make for myself and if u say anything to me i will be going to kill u, she starts shouting after getting up in the morning at 5-6 am, i am working women when i reach home in evening i see again the fighting attitude of eveyone, there is no shanti at our home, whenever i say anything to my husband if he is not agree on me he gets shouting on me infront of his family and uses abusive language for me, then my mother in law comes into the picture and telling me please get lost from my house i have never seen this cheekhna chillana at my parents place hence, m amazed to see this environment and unable to understand why my husband don't see his mother's attitude and pin pointing me, my question is my husband didn't share anything about his extramaritial affairs with his family he can hide that so now why is he not managing his personal life why he cannot see his wife's happiness, my MIL, BIL and my husband all three are very aggressive and frustrated, they fight in the gym also, when i stiop my husband for creating agressive attitude he shouts on me and my MIL is saying my childrens are very well educated they know how to deal with people u are no one to stop them, what ever she says thought out the whole day he asks the same from me and fights because i give my explanation and he doesn't like...........
obtain divorce by mutual consent and move on in life
if he is ready then go for mutual divorce
For mutual consent divorce both the parties should agree for divorce. If your husband is not agreeing then you may file contested divorce but it may take 2-3 years.
Hi,
It seems there is lot of problem in adjusting in the changed relationship in the house, you as a daughter in law and your husband's mother as a mother in law. I do not ask you to make adjustments/ compromise, but it is a suggestion if you wish to be with our husband and in this marriage use your wisdom and wits to be peace with your mother in law. Since your husband is not at home always it is the in-laws who are with you.
Being a working woman you have more responsibility as you cannot neglect either your home or the office .
You have legal option if you decide to file for divorce. You can file 498A for cruelty by your husband and inlaws, and can proceed to file divorce on this ground.
