• Should I date my ex-wife?

Respected Lawyers,

I am in a confused situation where I want to date my Ex-wife but not sure if this could lead to any problems.

I got divorced in 2015 through Mediation Centre after the usual court battle with D.V, Maintenance, 498A etc. The main reason for the divorce was that my wife was having an affair with another person. Now after 4 years she contacted me through messenger and I replied politely. Then we started chatting and talking on the phone. She asked me if I still love her and I told her that love was never the problem, I always did love her and will love her always. She told me that the person she had an affair started treating her badly after her divorce by beating her and abusing her. She told me that he took all the Alimony money that I gave her as settlement for divorce by threatening her that he will kill her and her parents if she did not give the money or made any complaint. She says that he even tried to sell her to some brothel but by then she took help of her aunty and sons and left the place where she was staying. She says that guy was married and his wife and mother were also involved in this.

I know that the guy she was having an affair with is an Awara and Gunda type of a guy. But I am not sure how far her story is real but I am assuming that the part where he treated her badly like an animal could be true but the money part I am not sure. She says she is working and earning just enough to live her life and she says she is not married. I think she has spent all the money and now that she has no support from anyone(even from her own family, which was a problem from the start) she wants me to come back to her to support her.

The problem here is that I have no issues to support her or show her some love, but I dont want to settle down with her like marry her again or have a live in relationship. I know that Live in Relationship also gives the lady the status of a wife after a period of time. I only want some comfort of companionship. Will it be a problem if I see her from time to time. I am in my 48 so I dont think I can look for having a family of my own now, and I am not interested in marriage at all after going through all the cases.

Please kindly advice on the possible problems that can arise from this situation, Legally and Personally.

Thank you.
Kind regards.
Asked 5 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

2 answers received in 10 minutes.

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21 Answers

Live in relationship is as good as marriage now. It my create issues between both as you earlier shared relationship. 

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
32301 Answers
193 Consultations

4.1 on 5.0

You should not date your ex wife 

 

2) during your marriage she was un faithful to you 

 

3) she had extra marital affair and filed false case of dowry harassment against you 

 

4) if you start dating her again she may file false cases to extort money from you 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
96271 Answers
7755 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

before giving any advice, the fact is that

1. she was not loyal to you,

2. she had an affair despite being your wife,

3. she had another unsuccessful relationship after divorce you,

4. Now, if you again start the relationship, she may file false cases like rape, blackmail, etc but these risks are always involved in any relationship, 

5. considering the fact, you should restrain yourself from moving ahead in the relationship with your wife, but considering the fact that every relationship have risk, you can move ahead,

 

  

Suneel Moudgil
Advocate, Panipat
2382 Answers
6 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

Please dont mind, if you can assure that she is not going to ruin your peace and your life once again and take all your hard earned money by accusing you of your faults which you may or may not have.

 

You are right, she basically needs monetary support thats why she is coming 

 

My suggestion is NO, dont entertain her, again you will suffer

Aveek Bose
Advocate, Kolkata
1222 Answers
9 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

1. You can date her.

2. If you remarry her or begin a live-in then she will have all the rights and remedies which accrue to a wife or a female in a live-in relationship.

Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
30763 Answers
972 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

There are many consequences to meet her or not.

1) you have money she doesn't

2) you are alone and she knows how to trap a man well experience in this by making new story

3) kindly meet her with family member plus in public place, but know you both are divorced by court. So you have to respect court decree as well.

4) Still you want to meet her kindly meet her in the women cell

  1. As legal and personal ground suggestion will be not to meet her. Because you don't know what are running in her mind.
  2. You have already paid lots of money and now in old days coming near or will be starting she needs support of yours. Actually she needs support or her house friend need support to run the family.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
12953 Answers
258 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

You are the better judge of the situation

You can deny to resume the relationship with her.

You can pass your time to some extent with her without making any commitment to her.

She may not have realised the fact or the grievances she has caused to you by her past activities, even now she may not be true with her intention.

She may be approaching you only for the reason of a financial security since her earning capacity may be diminishing and she may foresee a blank future to sustain her expenses.

Of course the courtesy or the mercy you may show now should not transform into her dominance on you once again, which  may happen due to some weaker circumstances if you are not careful.

The decision to be with her or continue the relationship with her may be like inviting trouble in the given situation, hence you make a prudent decision on this to avoid getting trapped once again.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
86471 Answers
2300 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

 

1. " He is an Awara and Gunda type of a guy and you are a nice homely person. Even then she left you for him and caused all sorts of miseries for you.

2. Now her said affair has gone sour and she wants to have more money.

3. You are probably the only known guy to her from whom she can try to extort money again since she can make you felling weak on her again.

4. The "comfort of companionship" as sought by you could become very painful again if you allow her to enter in to your life.

5. It will be prudent on your part to stay away from her and seek "comfort of companionship" elsewhere in your own interest.

 

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
27353 Answers
726 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Sir,

Yes, many do such an act. If you two do not mind staying together then it's okay to stay together. But do not try to force enter your ex wife's house specially with wrong intentions. But i would like to question you,

1) Why did you get divorced if you still want to stay together?

2) Don't you have any self respect?

3) Are sexual things are more important then any other thing in your life?

I think it would be better you think on this part, 

Now it's up to you, your decision, your life, your dignity, your self respect.

Netravathi Kalaskar
Advocate, Bengaluru
4952 Answers
27 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

1. Apprehensively you seem to have forgotten the Mental & Physical troubles your former wife gave you when she filed D.V, Maintenance, 498A etc....

2.  Emotions and Sentiments have no place in the legal world. You would not know what trap is being laid out for you (Men are always emotional fools).

3. She left you for HER OWN GAINS and she wants to come back for HER OWN GAINS .... where do you come in ????  THINK !!!!  You have come out from your earlier legal & emotional troubles .... Think whether she is worth another legal & emotional trouble ????

Hemant Agarwal
Advocate, Mumbai
5612 Answers
25 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Supreme court declared that , when  a man and a woman in love live together , is part of the right to life and not a criminal offence, and further live-in relationships is legal in India.

- But other side , as per the Supreme Court,  When a man and a woman live together as husband and wife for a long term, the law will presume that they are legally married unless proved contrary.

- Further, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 provides for the protection, maintenance and right of palimony to a live-in partner, if she complains.

- Hence, dating is not a problem legally, but if you will start once again relationship , then in future she will have right just like a wife.

- Since, she is also not a faithful lady , hence you should think before starting a relationship with her. 

 

Good luck and dont forget to rating Positively.

Mohammed Shahzad
Advocate, Delhi
14167 Answers
214 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

There is no harm in supporting your ex-wife legally and emotionally, but as she had filed false cases against you before, she might do it again. So, I wouldn't advise you to indulge with her very much.

Siddharth Jain
Advocate, New Delhi
6347 Answers
102 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

in my opinion better avoid and keep away. 

you can date and also you make relationship with her consent but may be after she may false cases against you. 

Mohammed Mujeeb
Advocate, Hyderabad
19306 Answers
32 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

Dating is not a problem to the divorced wife and same is not punishable as well as both of you are agree to this.

You may keep the relationship even without the marriage and not bound to marriage untill you make sure that things are fine and settled.

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
6852 Answers
23 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1. She can lodge various cases like sexual harassment or rape against you if she have plans to grab more money from you.

2. You should be very very careful while having any conversation or physical intimacy with your ex wife. 

 

Mohit Kapoor
Advocate, Rohtak
10687 Answers
7 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You can do  recordings of your personal meeting with your ex wife 

 

2) audio / video recordings are admissible in evidence 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
96271 Answers
7755 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

There is no such legal procedures to be followed in this regard, at least not in our country.

It is a decision to be taken by you both judiciously.

If you apprehend any trouble by such meetings or any hidden danger then you may be vigilant on all the aspects particularly ion those weaker moments when you both are together.

Rest other things should be taken care by using your own prudence. 

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
86471 Answers
2300 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

you can gather evidence such as call recordings and there are no such consequences which you will have to face in the coming future.. 

Mohammed Mujeeb
Advocate, Hyderabad
19306 Answers
32 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

1. You two re two different adult person having no personal relationship now.

 

2. You can meet anytime, anywhere and every where as per your choice for which you need not take leave or inform any authority.

 

3. Only note of caution is stay careful and act with your head and not heart in your own future interest/safety.

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
27353 Answers
726 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

There is no such authority

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
32301 Answers
193 Consultations

4.1 on 5.0

There is no such way as per law.

Siddharth Jain
Advocate, New Delhi
6347 Answers
102 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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