It is said "Marriages are made in heaven" only when it is amongst 2 souls - who vowed to stay together despite all odds & accepting each other as they are till their lifetime. But in our country nowadays, marriages are held between 2 families & it is truly difficult to please every single one there. However, I seem to have lost this game since last 5 years & is presently suffering from severe emotional/mental/psychological abuse from my Wife & In-Laws. I'm the only child of my parents & my parents have always longed for a "daughter" who would be with them & take care of them in my absence. So, we unanimously informed my in laws that we won't accept a single penny or any expensive gifts/furniture/vehicle/grants for my marriage. Mine was an arranged marriage legally registered on 23/09/12 & I socially got married on 23/01/2013. Immediately after the legal marriage, we exchanged gifts with my wife & in-laws during the Durga Puja of 2012. Thereafter one day, my father-in-law called me with my parents to their house & humiliated us there stating that we should have gifted my wife (would be) a saree instead of a Salwar Suit. Due to this, we have actually insulted them in front of their relatives. This was the beginning of my so called Married Life. My wife is really impatient, short tempered & misunderstanding in nature from the very beginning. Now, may it be a love or an arranged marriage, it takes some time for both the families to understand/adjust to each other. My parents could never crack a joke with each other in presence of my wife as she would misunderstand that they are getting sarcastic with her. She used to become violent verbally & start abusing my parents (& sometimes even me). Many a times, me & my parents have tried explaining her that she need to be patient & stop misunderstanding us as we have no intention to humiliate/abuse her. But she opted for the opposite way rather. Many a times I have approached her parents to make her understand but they have always taken their daughter's side without listening to me or understanding my situation. In May 2014, I got blessed with a baby girl & now she is 3+ years old. My parents took absolute care of her (during my office hours) for her entire tenure of pregnancy & always kept her at our apartment rather than asking her to stay with her parents. My daughter is also very very close to my parents & can't live without them. But with time, my wife became so severely violent towards my parents & myself that she used to abuse/insult us almost daily. Numerous days I have taken leave from my office due to her. I even suffered a professional demotion due to all these ongoing mental trauma. On 20th April 2017, she abused us in such a way that I asked her to leave my parent's apartment immediately for an indefinite period unless I procure a new apartment for her.
First answer received in 10 minutes.
Lawyers are available now to answer your questions.
Finally, I visualized that this is going to impact my daughter's growth there & peace of mind, well being to my aged parents. So although it was next to impossible, within 2 month's time, I took a brand new apartment (on 3rd July 2017) & parted away from my parents (although I have never ever thought of doing so). So as to keep my parents safe from my wife's violence during office hours. My parents never visit me there at my new apartment. Even now, when I'm living away from my parents and sometimes pay a weekly visit to them with my daughter, my wife gets ferocious & violent. If I get a phone call from my parents, she looses her temper. Is there a way out for me to get rid of this situation ? Are all laws in this country meant only for protecting women ? Men are only considered as "money earning machines" & "a dominative gender" ? Please help ! This is a distress call !
1.You did not first mistake of getting seaprate from your aprents.
2.this is psychological disorder which can not be ebbed away even if you stay away from your parents.
3.Your have tow options-
to stay like this for rests of your life
or
get separate from your wife.live life of your own and if she does not reform file contested suit for divorce
4. No peace is meaningful sacrificing one's own self-esteem and meaningful existence on earth.
Good luck.
1) you should visit a family counsellor with your wife to save your marriage
2) it appears your wife needs psychiatrist treatment for her mental illness
3) her mood swings , violent behaviour denote that she is suffering from mental illness
4) you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
5) wife abusing husband and in laws amount to mental cruelty
6) wife refusing to permit husband to meet his parents amounts to mental cruelty
You can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty as advised herein above
Advocate Sethi, what is the procedure to file a divorce case on grounds of mental cruelty ? Where should I start from ? Should she ask for a lumpsome amount from me for signing the divorce ? What about the custody for my 3 year old daughter ? How can I guarantee that my wife & her relatives won't cause any harm to me or my parents after/before the divorce ?
1) best option is divorce by mutual consent . Agree to pay wife alimony amount as decided mutually . Seek joint custody of your daughter .. Your lawyer will draft petition and consent terms for divorce by mutual consent
2) if wife refuses divorced race by mutual consent you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
3) seek joint custody of your daughter ,court would award you visitation rights at least
4) wife can file false case of dowry harassment
5) in case wife files false case apply for and obtain AB from sessions court
3)
Tofilecontested divorceyou need tomeet an advocate.
No one time settlement money is to be paid if you get decree of divorce on your divorce suit though the court may grant her alimony if she is unemployed.
In May 2014, I got blessed with a baby girl & now she is 3+ years old. My parents took absolute care of her (during my office hours) for her entire tenure of pregnancy & always kept her at our apartment rather than asking her to stay with her parents. My daughter is also very very close to my parents & can't live without them. But with time, my wife became so severely violent towards my parents & myself that she used to abuse/insult us almost daily. Numerous days I have taken leave from my office due to her. I even suffered a professional demotion due to all these ongoing mental trauma. On 20th April 2017, she abused us in such a way that I asked her to leave my parent's apartment immediately for an indefinite period unless I procure a new apartment for her.
These cannot be set aside as trivial issues, because this involves egoistic issues.
Probably she lacks maturity or mind application or intentionally behaving this manner.
No doubt her humiliations canot be tolerated beyond certain level, however divorce cannot be the only solution or an immediate solution for this, the decision for living separately away from her for a period of at least 6 months is a wise decision.
Even now, when I'm living away from my parents and sometimes pay a weekly visit to them with my daughter, my wife gets ferocious & violent. If I get a phone call from my parents, she looses her temper. Is there a way out for me to get rid of this situation ? Are all laws in this country meant only for protecting women ? Men are only considered as "money earning machines" & "a dominative gender" ?
Laws of the country are common for all but few women misuse them.
Your wife has not resorted to any legal course of action yet hence dont speak about the law so soon.
Since you are finding difficult to balance between wife and parents, it is who has got to make proper decisions at right time whenever there is quarrel breaking up between you both, at least for the sake of child.
There was no need to buy a flat to appease her, you could have stood firm in your decision against her agitations.
Once you have decided to adjust by compromising on one or the other thing, you will will be virtually left with nothing but only compromise from your side, hence try to put a brake on her acts agaisnt you or else decide about taking a judicial separation from her.
what is the procedure to file a divorce case on grounds of mental cruelty ? Where should I start from ? Should she ask for a lumpsome amount from me for signing the divorce ? What about the custody for my 3 year old daughter ? How can I guarantee that my wife & her relatives won't cause any harm to me or my parents after/before the divorce ?
Any legal action from your side i.e., divorce or even a petition for judicial separation may provoke her and her non-understanding parents.
She may be instigated o file dowry harassment case etc.
But that should not deter your determination.
If she lodges a criminal complaint you can immediately obtain AB and then face her allegations in the trial proceedings .
The child custody case may also be filed separately based on the circumstances.
You may decide about the alimony aspect after she files an application for it because she has to prove your income before court to justify her claim.
You can file a petition for the divorce in the family court of the place where you two last resided together.
You can file a petition for the custody and guardianship of your daughter on the ground of welfare of the child.
Your wife can not be stopped from filing any case in future.
Regards
1. Has she left your parent's apartment?
2. It appears that you two have not gelled in your marriage and both are suffering.
3. Be sure that she is also blaming you for ruining her life etc,
4. If you can not solve your problems amicably, then decide whether you shall continue with this type of matrimonial relationship with your wife or not. This decision is most important which you only shall have to take.since divorce will effect your kid but regular quarrel also will adversely effect her with equal intensity.
5. If both of you decide for a mutual consent divorce, then jointly file one MCD petition on agreed terms which will be disposed of with in 6 & 1/2 months from the date of its filing and both of you shall be free from each other.
6.. If she does not agree for MCD, then collect the audio/video recordings of all her abusive and cruel behaviour and file a divorce suit on the ground of cruelty which may run for 2 to 3 years to be disposed of.
1. Supreme Court has opined that forcing husband to leave his old parents by wife can be considered as cruelty on the part of the wife forming a ground for seeking divorce by the husband.
2. In your case, the case may not be exactly the same but leaving old parents is no way to cool down wild and abusive wife. she will find out ways to be cruel on you.
3. You shall have to decide as to what do you want from this relationship and act as advised in my earlier post.
1. Audio/Video record all the abusive and violent conversations of your wife specially when she tries to restrain you from even talking to your old parents and visit them.
2. There after let your parents lodge a police complaint against your wife for assaulting them and file a petition before the Court praying for a stay order restraining her entering in to your parents house.
3. Ask your mother to file a DV case against your wife alleging domestic violence against her.
4. Thereafter you also lodge a police complaint along with your parents alleging that she has been giving threats of lodging false 498A complaint against all of you.
5. Now, after protecting all of you, as best as one could, you can now file a divorce suit against her on the ground of cruelty submitting evidence of her cruel acts against you and your parents.
6. After your daughter becomes 5 years old, you can file a child custody case claiming her custody.
7. Meantime you can also file a petition for enforcing your child visitation right during the process of divorce and also thereafter.
8. You can now live with your parents when she will have restrain order in entering your parents house to create problem.