I got married in 2002 by CSI (Christian) method of marriage. I found out later that she and her family was Pentecostal and she used to pray in "tounges". We later moved to USA and became citizens of USA. We both were in good jobs and she was earning twice my salary. In 2009, her parents came to USA and introduced Angel TV to her which was a form of distorted christian principles. As a result of watching this TV, she said in 2010 Aug., that she was resigning her job and that it was due to the fact that I was always thinking of my parents in India. We came to India in April 2011 and I got a job in Cochin. My wife refused to work saying that even if she works, all her salary will be given by me to my parents. As days went by, I started seeing a difference in her behaviour. She would curse my parents, my brother. She started calling my relatives and started telling them that I tried to kill her in the night and that I was constantly beating her. As a result of my wife constant nagging and disturbing me at work through phone calls, my productivity went down and I was forced to resign from my job in Dec 2016. I was earning around Rs 1 lakh a month. In Dec 2016, I had to go to the Police station as my wife hid my cellphone. The SI counselled us and told us t behave well. Again from March 2017, she is back to her old habits. This is my complaints against her : 1. She is not allowing me to have vaginal sex with her. All she does (may be 3 times a month) is stripping naked and forcing me to masturbate. 2.She always curses my mother and my brother. When I start video taping her, immediately she will keep quite and go to the bedroom and close the door. 3. Around 4 hours a day, she closes the room for prayer and reads religious books in the bedroom. We can see this through the key hole. 4. At various times, she will hit me in the head or stamp my feet. When I start video recording, she will say to the recorder that I had hit her just before video taping. 5. She forces me to buy food from hotels and not cooking. If I refuse to buy, she will ask our children (aged 7 and 11) to plead to me that they are hungry and force me to buy food. 6. She is falsely accusing me to giving money to my mother or that I am having sex with my mother's caregiver. 7. We found that she was suffering from Hyper Thyroid which kindled her emotions. She took tablets and she he was fine in the month of Jan-march. But now she is not taking the medicine and she is back to her old self. In this what are my options ? 1. I worked till Dec 2016 and now have no job. My wife is more qualified than me but she is refusing to work. She is BE, MBA and has worked as IT project manager in USA. 2. In USA we both saved Rs 45 lakhs but the money was in her account. Once we came to India, she gave the money to her father for educating her. Now for each and everything, she threatens me and extracts money from me. Kindly advise
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1) file for divorce on grounds of cruelty
2) wife refusing to have sex amounts to mental cruelty
3) wife cursing in laws amount to mental cruelty
4) wife accusing husband of having an affair amounts to mental cruelty
5) seek joint custody of your children
What bothers me is that she continuously comes close to my ear and abuses my dead father, my mother and my brother and his family, thus irritating me. Even I canot hear the full insults as she speaks softly (to avoid any video taping) and I can hear only part of what she says. Children will be watching TV during that time. She says that i have no proof to convict her. She also says that Police will only believe what a woman says. Also she takes the children inside the bedroom, locks the bedroom door and brain washes them saying that I beat her in the night after they sleep and how my mother and brother tell me to make my suffer etc.,. Though I can do the same kind of brainwashing, I donot want to spoil the children. She has told my relatives that I have taken all HER money and have given it to my mother (which I can prove in court that is false as I have copies of all her bank accounts, degree certificates, salary slip, offer letter etc..). In one video clip, as I am video taping it, it can be seen that my wife prevents the video taping my hitting the cellphone that it flys from my hand and lands on the floor. My question is : 1. How do I prove all my accusations?. Though everything is true, I have no proof as my wife is very careful not to make any false move. She catches me in when I am totally helpless to abuse me (like when I am sleeping). 2. At anytime, she will make sure that there are no foreign devices video taping her when she makes her move. How do I catch her in the act.? 3. The major proof that I have is details of her salary, her job offer, her bank account statement (dated 2011), her degrees etc.. 4. She has openly told me that she loves JESUS as JESUS was her creator and that she has no interest in any human beings. Of course, when she says this, she will ensure that there is no recording devices on.
SMS messages , audio, video recordings will help you in proving cruelty
2) install CCTV cameras in the living room of the house
3) video footage will help you in making out a case
1. Since the matrimonial disputes mostly happens within the close doors of the walls the production of eye witness is almost impossible. Hnece in such suits the court largely rely on the evidence f the aprties on affidavit. O your evidence is enough on this.
2. Your witness is again important.
3. Yes those are enough. However unless you establish her present job and income then past employment is not sufficient to avoid maintenance.
4. You testify on this in court. You can bring your parents/relative who may also testify that she said those words in their presence also.
You are asking for options after having narrated the incidents that took place.
You have not asked opinion to any of your proposal that you have in your minds about continuing this marital life with her.
Basically it will be very difficult to retrieve her from her present state of mental health to a normal or original state.
The future married life will be at stake if you continue with the present horrifying and embarrassing living condition.
You may decide whether to continue or to quit the married life by filing a petition to dissolve the marriage on the grounds of mental cruelty.
1. Please be aware that the cruelties happening within four walls cannot be proved by evidence.
You can corroborate the evidence to prove your side
You can rope in your parents or any other well wisher with whom you shared all these cruel acts and your suffering as witness if necessary during the trial proceedings of the divorce case.
2. If you are not able to secure any evidence just dont be bothered to this extent, you can file case even without any such evidence too by just making the pleadings to this effect.
3. This will be helpful for you repudiate her maintenance claim in case she files one.
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