I am a 25 year old Hindu man. I have been married for 3 years and have a one year old son. I was forced to marry by my family at the age of 22. I was forced into the marriage due to intense emotional pressure and by citing tradition. Also by that time I was not in a position to sustain myself and a refusal to marry could have led to being kicked out of the family. It was under these harsh circumstances that I agreed to marry. I was not shown the girl (again citing tradition) and got no opportunity to know her. After marriage I realised that most of the information provided to me was untrue. I had a very difficult time adjusting and it was mentally torturing for me to be with someone with whom I felt no connection. I was put under a lot of pressure by my family and by her to have a child which I did not want as I was too young and wanted to build my career. But I had to give in. I also did not know anything about her family and gradually got to know that they are of criminal mentality and she has the same. She has on various occasions threatened me with dire consequences. Last year I fell in love with a girl and want to marry her. I told my wife about it and asked for a mutual divorce but since then she has made my life hell. She not only abuses me and threatens me but also blackmails me by saying she'LL commit suicide. Her family has also threatened to kill me and the girl both. My wife is not only abusive but is also a habitual liar and is very stubborn and can go to any extent, including harming me and my family to satisfy her ego. I have left my house due to the mental harassment . I am ready to pay maintainance or pay in lump sum as she wishes and also to have the custody of my child but I can't go on living with her.
Our community has a tradition of dowry where the girl's family give as much as possible to improve their status in the society and to get the best possible groom. We never asked for anything but they gave us a car and cash by their own will. We have never asked for anything subsequently as well. Can they use the dowry law against us?
If your wife does not agree for divorce you have long legal battle ahead
2) contested divorce takes around 5 years
3) you have to prove allegations made in divorce petition of mental cruelty by wife
4) in case wife files false case of dowry harassment seek stay of arrest by filing petition in HC
1) wife can file case of dowry harassment as car and cash was given to you as dowry
2) it better you return car and other articles given at time of marriage
Dear Concerned,
Let's start in descending order
A) you staying separate. .. as you mentioned that you are staying separately/alone assuming that and your wife at your parents house. This is the right decision which you have taken, but kindly inform in writing to the local police station, SSP, Distt. Magistrate that you have issues with your wife and she threatens of suicide. Hence, from so and so date you are staying separately from your wife.
B) On dowry/gifts received you may choose to return the gifts and cash but your wife and her relatives will 100% not accept these gifts back( if the car is registered on your wife's name there would be less of issue. As they will not accept the gifts back-when you proceed legally you should be mentally ready for facing false and fabricated cases like Domestic Violence , dowry demand and maintenance. If your wife or her relatives file any such cases that is when you should return the gifts and cash infront of the police/magistrate as it would be recorded.
C) your marriage without your wish- techincally you doing marriage under pressure and now also having a son is no ground for divorce but the cruelty and threats given by your wife are. A more detailed discussion is needed to understand and find reasons to file separation.
D) Solution- As you now love somebody else and also want to get married you first need to divorce yout first wife. You should file divorce on the grounds of cruelty which would take some descent time to settle as this will be a contested divorce.
It is suggested you may please feel free to connect with us for a free consulting on your subject.
Best of Luck.. stay blessed.
1. You are in a tough spot for sure. If you want to remarry you have to obtain a decree of dissolution of marriage from the competent court.
2. If she has denied mutual consent divorce then the only remedy for you is to file for contested divorce on the ground of mental cruelty, but she can contest it fittingly in the court. Unless you are able to prove the allegations you will not succeed. The result of a contested battle in the court is always uncertain and it would be long drawn.
3. She may certainly file dowry harassment and dv cases against you and/or family members regardless of whether you took dowry or not.
She not only abuses me and threatens me but also blackmails me by saying she'LL commit suicide.
Her family has also threatened to kill me and the girl both.
My wife is not only abusive but is also a habitual liar and is very stubborn and can go to any extent, including harming me and my family to satisfy her ego.
I have left my house due to the mental harassment .
I am ready to pay maintainance or pay in lump sum as she wishes and also to have the custody of my child but I can't go on living with her.
It will be a tough situation to continue the married life with a cruel mentality and hostile nature woman/wife.
Since you have decided to live separately from her, you can file a judicial separation or divorce petition and start living separately.
If she resorts to file false criminal cases agaisnt you, they have to be challenged accordingly by first obtaining anticipatory bail.
Nobody can force you to live with the person who you dont like anymore to live with, hence there is nothing wrong in living away from her.
Our community has a tradition of dowry where the girl's family give as much as possible to improve their status in the society and to get the best possible groom.
We never asked for anything but they gave us a car and cash by their own will.
We have never asked for anything subsequently as well.
Can they use the dowry law against us?
Whether you have demanded the dowry or not since you have accepted the same yo will be held liable for the dowry demand under DP act, hence you can put forth your arguments based on the traditions and customs of the family during trial proceedings after obtaining AB in case she is lodging a criminal complaint on the dowry harassment laws.